I agree that the minute someone says "you must do X because you are female (or male even...) there's a problem. (Not every time, there are going to be exceptions, but it has to be looked at carefully.)

I suspect that my very early decision (as in 4 years old? 5?) that I wasn't a girl and didn't do girl things means that most people who say such things take one look at me and don't try.

That decision has made things tricky for me at times, but on the whole it has saved me a lot of that kind of brainwashing. It never went as far as transgender (although if I'd known that was an option in my early teen years I might well have gone that way) but I did definitely reject most of the "this is what women do". Unfortunately it was from a stance of "because it is icky and inferior" and I'm still trying to disentangle myself from that misogyny.

I suppose though that it might be why I haven't met anyone who has expressed those opinions to me. It's not a stance I've come across.

I have come across "girls should do the girl thing and not compete with men" but not "I should be on the board even though my only qualification is model wife".